story must provide enough background and context for a listener to understand the underlying issue.
* Feedback thats needs to work with *
The intro to the story is more like a story proposal. The quotes are provided in chunks and are run-on sentences without punctuation.
You need to provide more background and context before and after the quotes. And some of their stories need to be told in paraphrase where you summarize their experience and set up a quotation.
Bottom line: what you submitted is the building blocks for a story but not a news story or even an essay. The story needs to go beyond the Humans of New York model that was the previous assignment.